Speculating Skeptic Philosopher
I am the speculating skeptic philosopher. Intrinsically it may be a contradiction in terms. As skeptic I hardly believe anything beyond a shadow of a doubt. Even the beliefs and principles around which I base my own life, principles of logic and understanding, even those are not beyond my questioning. I may at any time abandon these concepts so long as I find a more appealing principle to fill the void left in their absence.
I am also a speculator, if nothing else for my own amusement. I am quick to put forth an absurd hypothesis to any set of phenomenon, if nothing else to simply start the understanding at some place. Often, they are invested with hardly an ounce of sincerity, an abandoned still born child of my mind even from the moment of conception, a corpse to be poked at and prodded at, butchered and pieced back together. One day lighting strikes and perhaps one of these monstrosities will be granted the monster’s life.
And Philosopher, perhaps is nothing more than the proper merging of these previous two. A lazy form of both. One who stands back and criticizes the skepticism for not being skeptic enough to dig deeper into the meta logic of their trade. And punitively mocks and laughs with/at, the speculator for their overzealous clinging to ideas which are so absurd they are publicly chided by any who have a shred of skepticism.
And so I am caught in between, a disbelieving dreamer, wanting for the fantastic, yet being unsatisfied continually at the tight confines of knowledge and communication. Welcome then to the show, Come and laugh and scorn together, sting and console. Berate the mockery of humankind which is me, searching ever for humanity yet always failing to grasp. Like a man with poison in his touch, as soon as humanity comes into my grasp, it falls apart, divides and subdivides as I search for the essences of what makes it up, until there is nothing left but a thousand parts which do not resemble the whole in whit or form. Then keep thy distance.
I am madness. I am overly dramatic.